29
09/11
This Carr’s a lemon
A typical Howie Carr fan weighs in on the immigration "debate"
In what I assume was a sensible cost-cutting measure during tough times, the Boston Herald quietly rolled out the world’s first computer-generated weekly opinion column many years ago. The algorithim is a trade secret, but it appears to be designed to process and regurgitate the week’s news as if it were being explained to you by a bitter old man who hates everything. It also seems to have a built-in quota for a short list of words which will resonate with the Herald’s demo: ”moonbats,” “hacks,” “freeloaders,” and, of course, the perenially-popular “illegals.”
Think Ed Anger, without the laffs. I’ve been reading it for years.
To humanize the whole experiment, the Herald has attached the column to a stock photo of a grimacing manchild they’ve affectionately nicknamed “Howie.” (I’ve always thought this was a sly hint to the “author’s” true identity: really, what adult human male would ever go by “Howie”?)
It’s all kind of adorable, really. Most of the time.
“Howie Carr” still has some bugs to work through, though, especially when it comes to trendspotting. Take this week’s big steaming memory dump: